Your definition of what makes for “great sex” is going to be different than mine. Honestly, if a group of 1,000 women sat together in a room and were asked to write down the details of their perfect sex life, I’d pretty much guarantee that you’d get 1,000 vastly different pictures.
At the core, each would obviously include sex in a general sense, but the nuances surrounding the physical act would be as unique as the woman herself.
Here’s a simple, basic example. I don’t like hairy chests. Never have, and I can’t tell you why that is. It’s not like I had a horrible experience with some Big-Foot-esque creature or anything. It just is. I’ve known other women, however, who were instantly smitten by the sight of it and would pledge their love forever to a man on whose fluffy chest they could nightly lay their heads. To each her own, as they say.
So before we go any further in exploring how to make sex better for you, we first have to establish what a great sex life looks like … TO YOU. In order to do that, I’m going to share some things you need to think about in developing that picture for yourself.
Compare it to taking a trip. How can you decide on which road to take if you haven’t even decided where it is you want to go?
Note: It’s best to be alone while you’re doing this, or you may find yourself getting distracted! Not that that’s a bad thing, but for the purpose of this exercise, the focus will come in handy.
Okay, so close your eyes right now and visualize yourself in your most desired sexual situation.
Take your time and pay close attention to all of the details. Where are you? If you’re inside, what room are you in? What’s the lighting like? What are you wearing (or not wearing)? Look at your partner. What is he or she doing or saying? You get the idea.
After you’ve spent some time visualizing, make a list — or better yet, describe it in infinite detail in a journal — of all the aspects of your perfect sex life. Include colors, smells, ideas, words, behaviors … anything you saw and felt there. They all have impact and meaning for you.
Once you have a clear picture of what a great sex life really means for you, that picture will serve as the foundation and a starting point for improving in the areas where it actually needs improving. And keep in mind that your picture may change as certain areas of your sex life change, so be flexible. This isn’t meant to be a rigid, stay-within-the-lines exercise.
Take the time to actually do this. It’s a very powerful tool that will make things much clearer for your journey.
And once you have the “map” in hand, you’re one step closer to getting there!
