The sweet feeling of that first meeting. Fluttery feelings abound. Everything clicks. Chemistry was never your thing in high school, but you’re feeling an A+ coming on.
Remember when you first met your partner? Exchanging glances. That first touch, kiss and beyond? The feeling of hope, leaving behind the everyday drudgery for all the possibilities that now lay before you. You feel powerful. What a rush.
As you become more attached to this other person, you start to get a little scared, too. Now there’s so much more to lose, so you try to make things a little more secure, more dependable. Commitments follow, offering more stability, but along with that comes the surrender of some of the little freedoms you’ve always taken for granted.
Yet in the face of relationship security comes the realization that spontaneity and passion have dissolved, taken a back seat to predictability. Boredom ensues.
Where does that leave you? How can you get that passion back into your relationship? First of all, understanding the cycle can be a huge help. I believe that most people feel that once the passion has gone, love is not far behind. But that’s hardly the case in most relationships.
Tony Robbins says that passion in a relationship is commensurate with the amount of uncertainty you can take. Remember the start of your relationship … wondering if he’s going to call, does he really like you? Uncertainty creates longing and anticipation.
There’s plenty of room for both in any healthy relationship. The key is finding the balance.
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Great post!
I’m lucky enough to have married my soul mate, and we have always been conscious of the special gift we have. (I say that because being aware of it is a huge first step to making sure you take care of it!)
I think in order to keep enough healthy uncertainty in the relationship and still let the passion flow, you really just have to respect each other as individuals and allow the personal growth of each of you to continue to develop.
Because you will always be on different parts of “the journey”, this will go a long way toward removing boredom and predictability.
When you’re both in expansion mode (spiritually, not physically…ha!) and happy with yourselves – you are able to be the people that you truly are…and the sparks can keep on flyin’! After all, that’s what created the magic in the first place!
All the best
MS